Rambling on... again..

"Main Chupana jaanta to jag mujhe saadhu samajhta, Shatru mera ban gaya hai chhal-rahit vyavahar mera.." - Harivansh Rai Bachchan

A book and a movie... Nicholas Sparks... Needed to watch a movie and ended up choosing this from amongst the collection i have of 'will watch one day soon enough' - collected over the years from various places... Anyways... if anyone out there wants to watch this movie - DONT. Not at all if you're in a relationship... Not at all if that person is with you.. might just make you do a re-assessment of what you have and if its good enough!! ;-) Havent seen this intense a portrayal of love and passion in ages... especially caught me by surprise since the overall storyline seems pretty typical - rich girl, poor boy -- summer romance -- bad parents -- both separate -- girl meets another good boy -- gets engaged -- just before marriage gets reminded of old love -- goes back and realizes all the mistakes they made... and so on! However the narrative and portrayal of this love into their old age is what caught me by the throat and blew me up completely - well blew me enuf to get up a...

I had gone a-begging from door to door in the village path, when thy golden chariot appeared in the distance like a gorgeous dream and I wondered who was this King of all kings! My hopes rose high and methought my evil days were at an end, and I stood waiting for alms to be given unasked and for wealth scattered on all sides in the dust. The chariot stopped where I stood. Thy glance fell on me and thou camest down with a smile. I felt that the luck of my life had come at last. Then of a sudden thou didst hold out thy right hand and say 'What hast thou to give to me?' Ah, what a kingly jest was it to open thy palm to a beggar to beg! I was confused and stood undecided, and then from my wallet I slowly took out the least little grain of corn and gave it to thee. But how great my surprise when at the day's end I emptied my bag on the floor to find a least little gram of gold among the poor heap. I bitterly wept and wished that I had had the heart to give thee my all. - Verse (...

The last two days have been amongst the most different ones i've had in recent times... had both my nieces over at home... 8.5 mths and 3 mths... amazing to watch them and interact with them.. and above everything else - i was entailed with the responsibility of looking after the elder one for two whole days!! (of course with the help of my mom and our help at home!! but still...) and of course it got me into maybe getting a better glimpse at what parenthood actually entails and how easy it is to influence the personality of the child in such indelible ways... My respect for parents of well-turned out kids has grown so much... a child is truly just clay... u can decide to be either someone who's following the book on what all 'needs' to be done... or else you can put your heart into it! you could be taking care of a child till he / she grows up... or you could be shaping a personality.. you could let 'what happens - happens' or you could decide to 'do what j...

Its quite strange that for a society like ours which thrives and survives on family values - we never had these 'days' as a part of our culture. not that it means that we dont value these relations - just that i would have loved to have more days to celebrate these lovely relations! its the same as having a birthday - its not that you dont love that person the rest of the 364 days - but that day makes him/her feel extra special!! and what's life if not a collection of these small moments of feeling 'special' to someone... so am all for all these 'days' - tho' pls i do draw a line at celebrating 'boss day'!!! :-) Anyways - back to the topic "My Daddy Strongest!!" - this line never failed to make me smile everytime i saw it on TV... Its always strange for me to describe my relation with my dad... am the youngest of 3... dad was 38 when i was born... busy struggling to keep a roof over the family's head having left his family business ...

"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it." -Thomas Jefferson Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. - Carl Gustav Jung "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a ride!"

Lisbon... hmmm... lemme think of words that describe it.. First impressions ... sleepy, small, non-descript... doesnt leave a strong impression on those just passing through... one of those places where you need the locals to show you the true essence of the place. the pub area is great fun... still cant get over how people were literally 'spilling' out in the cobbled streets outside the pubs... i mean what would you call a place that serves liquor, plays music and yet doesnt bother to have seating!!!!?? but thats what its like everywhere there... amazing.. But i have to admit - i will always be biased... whenever i think of lisbon - i am really thinking of sintra!! Its a quaint old town, some 45 minutes drive off lisbon. it is the place where the royal family used to live.. so it has forts, palaces, old chateaus... the works... went with 3 colleagues... myriad backgrounds and yet we had sooooo much fun together!! absolutely a major fun day... But i have to admit - the indian r...

My third visit... 2005, 2006 and now 2008... There is something in the air in Paris... for me at least. everytime i go there it feels like i've been called.. there's nothing about paris that i dont like - and this is when i do consider myself very fair in my opinions even on those things (or people) that i love! This time i had an opportunity to show off paris to someone else... which made it slightly more fun! especially my favorite place in paris (maybe even on earth itself) - Sacre Ceur Church (Sacred Heart)... Its absolutely gorgeously located on top of a hill... with a beautiful view of all paris. Next to it is an absolute must-visit area - the montmarte village... the street artists' square... Have a portrait which i got done there in 05... occupies a place of pride in my home now. Dinner with Rose wine at roadside cafes... View of Eifel at night... Large spralling churches... serene siene... Just about everything about Paris - I love...

Having lost my passport at the fag end of my trip - along with ALL my bloody pictures - had almost given up on the idea of continuing my travelogue here... the last entry was made from helsinki itself... But since i like to believe that i follow what i tell others to do - The past should be left where it is... In the PAST! So here i am again... Post helsinki - had gone to Paris, Lisbon, Barcelona, Venice and Rome.. All in all a very memorable trip... for more reasons than the loss of passport... Shall write on each of these...

i was just going through all my old entries in my blog - the earlier one as well as this one... some of the things i've written about are things that i myself am not following now. made me question this changing colors of people.. while this phrase is typically used more to describe the two-sided nature of people... am using it with the context of more permanent or deeply-ingrained change... i know change is the only constant etc... the spiel that everyone uses. i did too on many occasions... but is it truly a change or just an excuse to lapse into doing sthg which you would 'ideally' not do? Does this also mean that such changes are temporary in nature? So which change is going to be permanent? those which fit into the current overall personality or those which are challenging the essence of that person? wish i knew the answers..

It is quite easy for people to be stuck in their own image of themselves... All of us - whatever be our IQ levels - are equally guilty of this. Sometimes we're close to incredibly foolish... Sometimes we're closeby to the remote truth. How does one try to be in the vicinity of truth and not illusion? Somehow over the last 3-4 days - have kind of lived thru this internal struggle across myriad life situations. Some intensely personal, some kind of professional. From someone who believes their calibre and recognition dont match to someone who uses self-perception as an insurmountable wall against potential emotional hurt. Life threw up events and situations which still are beyond me to understand - how the f^*% did i get caught in them? Esp since have spent most of my life avoiding getting caught in situations which make me feel helpless like this. (Helpless - as in situations not under my control.) Let's take for example the scenario where someone's basic abilities as a ...

just because i put in some sad stuff (only the content... not the style!!!) - doesnt mean am about to jump off the roof rightaway!!! just been meaning to put in some of my memories here... it seems that the only world slightly safe these days is the virtual one... or at least shall hope so... anyways... at this ungodly hour its pretty normal to feel emotional... at least for me. at times life raises quite a few questions - and mostly cruel ones... sometimes the cruelest ones are simply those which you know the answer to and yet dont want to acknowledge... especially to urself. what are we capable of doing? to ourselves... to those who we think we love? when exactly do we become small in our own eyes? while thinking of doing it...while doing it... or forever afterwards? what is the bigger crime... deceiving the world, deceiving someone else... or deceiving yourself? when do we cross the line between being true to yourself and being true to the moment? what if the two are in conflict? wh...

Agar main jaanti... ki tumhe khokar phir main kuch bhi na paaoongi ki tumhare haath ke baad koi haath mera na ho payega ki tum itna door jaake bhi hamesha mere paas rahoge ki tumhara ek pal ka saath mere baaki sab palo ko bemaani kar dega ki mera ye adhura ehsaas har pal adhura hi rahega ki meri khud ki pehchaan mere liye bhi anjaani rahegi ki main saare jahaan mein tumhari aankhon waala pyaar dhoonti reh jaaoongi to ... shayad...

Wanted to leave it here... Tum... ek khayal, ek ehsaas ek unbujhi si pyaas... ek anjaani si chaah ek bhataki hui si raah... ek saathi bagair saath ek sahaara deta hua haath... bahut chaha tumhe bhoolna shayad isiliye itna yaad aate ho... tum!