Its funny to say or hear this but its true. In my life, books happened very early on in life and I got totally hooked to the escape they offered. Given our financial constraints growing up, books were a cheap way to get those kicks in life. A nearby renting library with an endless supply of M&Bs and Georgette Heyer’s and other similar ‘fluffy’ fiction – made it all super easy. I devoured books from the school library, shamelessly borrowed (and returned) books from friends and neighbors and never shied away from being seen with a book at the every juncture. Its truly a wonder that i didn'
t get glasses at that stage in life!
Books saved me from the stress that financial constraints
bring to a child’s mind. Books saved me from the boredom that brings on negative
thinking. Books told me that having and expressing emotions were totally fine –
I could shed copious tears while reading without any fear of judgement. I could
laugh out loud at a smart and sassy scene.
Instead they showed me a world I had absolutely no awareness
about. Since most of the authors were from the English speaking countries – I got
glimpses of life in Europe, Americas as well as Australia – sitting right there
in a small little colony in North Delhi.
It gave me envious dreams of tuck boxes and attics and driveways and spying
et al. The fringe benefits of vocabulary and an instinctive grasp of the
language weren’t even sought actively.
As I grew up and life threw its curveballs at me – books again
saved me. They became my escape from the chaos around me. For those 1-2 hours of
commute on Mumbai locals, I would be in my dream world reading about kings and
wars; marvel about the way people think and express their thoughts; be inspired
by the stories of heroes from around the world. I shudder to think what I would
have done without this oasis of calm in my life at that stage.
When my plans for my dreamworld fell apart, somewhere I felt
maybe reading too many M&Bs had spoilt my appetite for ‘reality’. I even
gave up reading any sort of romantic books for a long long time. Focus and
interest shifted to a lot of mythology and historical tales – and yet again Books
saved me! Books showed me there was absolutely no end to learning if one wants
to learn. They told me tales of villains – with other perspectives to their
lives; heroes with feet of clay; different perspectives of the same situation
and how that can impact how we judge a situation.
It was books again who taught me that we are all just humans
after all – with our own strengths and weaknesses. And it is upon us to choose
what we want to focus and build on. Books were my armor in my solo work trips around
the world – not just on those long flights where I can’t sleep, but even in the
breakfast halls in strange hotels where I didn’t know anyone to sit and eat
with. I could avoid any sort of eye contact and just sit and eat peacefully. For
the first time, I could stay up all night and read a new release without any
interruptions from anyone. I remember the first time I did this – I felt a
strange new sense of freedom.
One of the first things I bought for my own house when I moved
in to live my new life alone – was a bookshelf. It was very soon full – and became
a center of attention for my friends who would visit. I realized a new trait in
myself – I judged people by the books I saw at their place 😊
Maybe judged is sounding negative – but all it means is that I understood what
kind of a person it was by the books they read, and if they didn’t read at all,
then… well I was judging them for that as well!
I lost touch with books with new motherhood – physically became
tough to keep it as a priority. But then God Bless technology which brought
Kindle into my life. Suddenly the long nights rocking my baby in the dark
became easier – with the ebook in my hand. And I swear – it was like finding a
lost limb almost. It even allowed my
growing reading glasses number to take it easy as I could manipulate the font
on it. Sanity in the middle of a colicky baby, post-partum dissonance and the
utter loss of self-confidence that happened in that period – would have been so
much worse if I didn’t get those brief glimpses of a different world out there –
even if fictional.
Even M&Bs came back with a vengeance – simply as the
easiest and shortest read which didn’t need me to really focus. I could get the
gist and it was fine. Books which I could finish quickly – given my forever
speed reading skill – became my salvation.
Over the next few years, the advent of OTT took away books
again – except for the most constant travel companion I’ve ever had, my kindle.
But I see it as a replacement of the form of escape I was getting from books. I
became an avid content consumer. But over the years, somehow there a feeling
that I was losing out on something.
Recently I took out the kindle and fired it up again – and I
have to say that it was a breath of fresh air… not sure if I will be able to totally
go back to ‘how things were’ but certainly they remind me of the good times I’ve
had with books as my one true and consistent friend, philosopher and guide.
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