Rambling on... again..

Apni zameen main hoon khud Aasmaan bhi main Apni pyaas bhi main hi hoon Uss pyaas ki raahat bhi main Khud ki khushi to hoon hi Apna hi hoon gam bhi Rakshak main hi to hoon apni Aur shayad apni hi bhakshak bhi Bhanwar mein fassi bhi main hoon Bachne ka sahara bhi Iss safar ka aagaaz bhi main hoon Aur safar ka anjaam bhi Dhoop se tadpana bhi mujhe hai Thandak ki chaaya bhi main Raste ki thokar bhi main hoon Sahara liye ek haath bhi main Raat ka andhera hoon main Chandani ki roshni bhi hoon Savere ki thandak hoon main Aur dhoop ki tadpan bhi hoon Main hi manzil hoon khud apni Main hi hoon apna safar bhi Main hi karwaan iss safar ka Uss karwaan mein main tanha bhi Main hi khud ki hamsafar hoon Hoon apni hi saheli bhi Kab kaise main ban gayi Khud apni hi parchhayi bhi…

Meandering through life Constantly seeking something Which has no shape or form Or even a vague direction Why is it that the conviction never leaves me That its nearby within reach If I could only see through the haze If only I tried harder to find it Its as if once I find it All missing pieces will come together It’ll give me the goalpost address I’ll stop meandering then… Move from being a direction-less stream To a calm and purposeful river Who knows there’s an ocean up ahead Waiting with open arms to welcome her Welcome her with absolute acceptance And whatever she brings with her No judgements, no conditions Just a warm never-ending embrace saying ‘I missed you!’ ‘Where were you my sweetheart? I’ve been waiting so long… Without you my vastness is incomplete And my existness itself – seems wrong’ What will be after I find the direction is so clear Is it even possible that I can be mistaken? That there may not be anything up ahead Except the drudgery of the life I currently lead…

Jindagi ki daud bhaag mein Khud ko dafan kar rakha tha Har cheez yaha ab ‘chalti’ thi Har jazbaat baccha ke rakha tha Ek din doosre ke jaisa hi tha, Bas sochna hi to chhoota tha Hanso muskurao kuch kaho kabhi, Baaki sab bhula hi rakha tha Aaj ataanak ek mod pe Apne kal se mulakaat hui Itna dhakka laga dekh ke Kab kaise ye baat hui Kal ne aaj se ya poocha ’Tu kaun hai, hai kya naam tera?’ Aaj itna hairaan sa tha ’ye kaun hai, kya lagta hai mera?’ Bola ‘Kya sach mein hum do ek hi hain Ek sikke ke do pehlu? Ya phir tu kuch aur hai shayad Mujhse hai anjaan jo tu?’ Kal bola – ’hoon main bhi hairaan Tujhsa to kabhi na ban na tha Kahan gayi woh masoomiyat Jispe naaz main karta tha?’ ‘Kaise main batayoon dost Kya kya maine hai dekh liya Ab to apne hi saaye ka kal hoga na saath hai ye soch liya Is duniya ke dard se Khudko bacha ke rakha hai Dukh se chupne ki hod mein hi Dil ki chuppi ka rasta dhoondha hai Na hoga ehsaas aur na hi dard, ab sab kuch ’theek hi’ lagta hai Dimaag se bas kaam liya Is...

In life when you meet someone Who touches ur life even in a tiny little way Its natural I guess to get greedy And hope that the person will stay.. Stay around long enough to make u feel better About life, love and maybe even ur own self Give the hope that maybe life is not meant to be lived alone On your own all the time, by yourself.. Simple gestures are read to mean Whatever you want them to be A simple act of kindness Made out to be bigger than it possibly can be Its not deliberate mind you For no one wants to get hurt for sure Its just so natural to some of us To grab onto straws – desparate to the core It comes apart one day Almost catching us by surprise Why, how - did we read it all so wrong Our pride we easily did compromise The funniest part about all this is that Somewhere in our heart We’re still keeping the hope alive There was ‘something’ there – wasn’t all fart!! We might move on and build our lives Family, relationships et al But somewhere the flame of hope Keeps burnin...

A movie by this name on in the telly... a girl with a gay roomie.. enter a new guy - both girl and roomie fall in love!! :-) Cute plot.. not so cutely executed but enuf to set me off on another random rambling trip... If i met a gay man, wud i be able to confide in him the same way i do with my girlfriends? If i had to set out a definition of a guy friend i could be really really comfortable with - what would they be? - Honest - Need to respect the person for who he is... - Fun - sense of humour is such a critical one isnt it?? even in just friendships... - Trust worthy - i shd be able to tell him some of my stories (no one can take them all!!) with the comfort of knowing it'll stay with him - Not be judgemental... (wonder if its becoz i have such a past!!) ;-) - Be there for me when i need a shoulder to cry on - Make me laugh when i am sad - Give me his honest opinion on things - whenever i ask for it or not!! :-) ok fine i give up - why the heck wud i settle for such a friendship...

Was chatting with a friend and managed to surprise myself with my own articulation - "pride is a killer thing to have.. it'll keep u alive in the worst of scenarios - and stop u from actually living ur life in most others!" Aint this so true?? Innumerable times when i would have thought that life has gotten the better of me - have come bouncing right back at it... solely based on the fact that i cant let it beat me and my pride!! And countless have been those times when false notions of pride being hurt or even just merely threatened would have stopped me from making the 'first move'!! Moves which had i made at the right time - i would / could have maybe lived a life slightly better... Hmmm...

This was a topic of discussion a few days ago over a girlie lunch in office... strange location and timing i know! but then i love my office for its non-conformity to 'accepted practises'... :-) Predictably - when u have crossed the age of 32-33 and have been in enough relationships to know what they're about... such discussion topics can come up. Legitimately. Spontaneously. With complete relevance for the audience. so an all-engaging, entertaining and involved discussion followed. Of course - as is common - such discussions leave me with me even more random thoughts in my head than before the discussion. so i went hunting to where it needs to begin logically - the definitions of these terms... So here goes - this is how wikipedia defines Lust and Love.. Lust (or lechery) is an inordinate craving for coitus often to the point of assuming a self-indulgent, and sometimes violent character. As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly...