Rambling on... again..

I must say of all the random side-effects of 'taking a break', this one was completely unanticipated for me - I have lost my WEEKENDS!!! :( Its true - since everyday sort of is like a weekend, i started off with the feeling of waking up on a sunday morning everyday.. the euphoria lasted only a few weeks, when i started realising that the thrill of a friday was gone from my life. I used to be someone with a fixed smile on my face on fridays - just with the happiness of the 2 day holiday looming ahead. Guarded my weekends very zealously - people who worked with me knew that it better be serious enough for me to called on a weekend with anything!! Sleeping late on a saturday morning used to make me smile with just the thought of it... Yet there's one thing i dont miss... the sheer depression that used to start looming large with the sunday evening approaching... :) Now when i read friend's updates on TGIF - my mind goes.. "hmmm, well yes... but... so?" Overall - ...

One of the side-effects of taking a ‘break’ is managing finances and doing the mental adjustment needed to not expect the sure-fire salary transfer every month end! Its only been one 25th of the month since my quitting – but have to admit I DID think of the salary I wasn’t getting that day… :) Friends who’ve walked the similar path before me tell me that its been one of the toughest adjustment areas for most. And I would tend to agree – so far that is. Salary has a way of giving us internal-confidence of being in control of our lives. Am sure most people who’ve worked for a reasonable amount of time and with a reasonably decent salary – don’t NEED to check for the exact time / day when its been transferred every month. However the knowledge that it has moved – gives a warm and happy glow to everyone I know! It makes every effort you've put into your job day and night seem worth it. So when you decide to give up on that part of the control – its expectedly tough. My erstwhile salary...

In life, beginings and ends form such a crucial part of living - never have i realised it more than in the last month or so. Both personally and professionally - too many things are ending and too many new ones are beginning. Its very easy to get nostalgic about whats ended - easier still to forget that it was us who wanted that stage to end ourselves. All because somewhere or the other in our heart - we're scared of the next stage... scared of not being sure... maybe of not having the comfort of belonging - like how we did earlier. Leaving aside the personal changes - professionally, after working for 14 years non-stop, i quit. To the world - i've taken a 'break'. No plans, No hidden cards (yes i got told that by quite a few), No waiting-by-the-side offers... just needed to not feel fatigued in life and figured that it IS after all, MY OWN LIFE... so i can do what feels right to me... without guilt, or feeling irresponsible, or even just guilt of being lazy!! Its my go...