Rambling on... again..

When I first heard this term – in all my naivety (yes it DOES apply to me at times!!) – I really thought it means its someone who’s a buddy and you also f@#$ them… seemed to make little sense to me at that time – simply because I thought that’s what I define as my perfect formula for a life partner!! Why coin a whole new term for something as basic as say a soul mate etc… Only later did I finally grow up to realize that there’s a whole new world out there in which terms like this make so much sense… and its not what I thought… Its someone who u f@#$ and can be sure to keep it a secret like a buddy!!! Or it’s a buddy - who when u’re down and out, you can ask for a f@#$ if you really need it!! Now why did this come to mind now… well simply becoz in a recent episode of ‘sex and the city’ – the girls are discussing this! And I was wondering about this kind of relationships – if they can be called that. Especially so in our culture here - where most people in my circle at least (or so i wud...

It was a really strange day today... met up with some of my school friends and found new friends in them! the ease with which the deepest of secrets of life were being shared was astoundingly unexpected.. the innocence of school days replayed in a lot of ways. there was no pretense, no hidden agendas, no put on acts, no keeping image intact... i hope i dont get spoilt by all this purity of sharing. not nice to start expecting this from other relations.. is this something normal? but at least all of us seemed to think that if a similar reunion happened with college friends - the same innocence wont be there... maybe, maybe not. anyways back to the peeping bit.. one of the girls turned out to be a professional astrologer! my god... what a job to have! and as i was confirming with her - yes its pretty much like that of a doc - everyone u know has something to ask of you no matter what the occasion of meeting up! :-) but what was interesting was the discussion we had on whether its a good ...

“How does it feel?” – is a question some of the long-married friends of mine have asked me from time to time and more so recently. Maybe now that some of them have started approaching their 10th anniversaries – maybe its playing on their minds more than before! :-) And I have always believed that the old idiom of ‘grass being greener on the other side’ applies to women more than men!! We always seem to want or at least be intensly curious about whatever’s out of our reach! But to get back to the question being asked… how DOES it feel being single at 35? I don’t know if I can answer it actually – becoz then I need to know how else it could have felt at 35!! It feels bloody normal to me right now… :-) Maybe not what I expected it to feel at 35 – but this is how it is. It feels strange sometimes to have friends talk about their 9 yr old kids… It feels pretty normal to have enough free time to do what catches my fancy… It feels normal to never complain about ‘me’ time… Its strange to come ...

Closures in relationships have kinda driven me crazy all my life!!! Either am trying to avoid them or running like crazy to achieve them… :-) And reading a note a friend had written recently kind of brought afresh all the ones which have been maybe more memorable for me… a long term friend who stopped talking suddenly… a stranger who struck a chord literally in seconds over a random cup of coffee in a strange land… But maybe the strangest of them all are those relations which show you a glimmer of potential – of becoming something much bigger than a casual friendship… and then without there being an explaination, just stay stuck in the same moment of time... or even worse fade away without any apparent reason. Makes me wonder if its deliberate or actually someone’s way of being… Maybe had this happened just once – I would have put it down to a freak case. But for what its worth – in the recent times have encountered more than one such case - and honestly it really freaks me out!! What ...

Jindagi ke arth kuch badalte hain is tarah, Jaise samundar ke paas ki rait ki satah, Jab lagta samajh aane lagi hai jindagi, Ek aur lahar aati hai paheli ki tarah, Ab kya karein ham is jindagi se jirah, Mazza aane laga hai humein jeene mein isi tarah...

Resolutions Oaths Kasamein Vaadein Call them what you please... for me its about thinking about our ideals and trying to set reminders for ourselves lest we stray from the path of seeking them! and new year is just another one of those milestones which makes it easy for everyone to see where they are as compared to where they want to be... so i dont have anything against anyone setting the new year resolutions!! :-) in fact i do it myself too... and yes weight loss is very much the first one on the list!! ALWAYS!!! ;-) Anyways... have been meaning to put some more down here - so that can visit them later and see where i've reached... or maybe even when exactly i let go of them!!;-) so here goes - 1. Loose 5 kgs... be fitter.. more active physically... more stamina... etc etc... in the general 'take care of body' genre! seeing ma with her bad knees is really driving home the need to do something!! so.. wont just join aerobics... but hopefully will do some real dancing too......

Life is full of these ... and yet we still seem to mourn the endings and get excited about the beginings! all the time... everytime... Is this what is the miracle called life? 2008 is on the verge of becoming the past... and 2009 is going to be the present and not the future anymore... So how was 2008? same as every other year i guess... some highs, some lows... some times of utter despair, some full of hope and new directions, and some broken promises, some moments full of life, and some times i wished i wasn't alive, festivities and celebrations on one hand, funerals and illnesses on the other, intimacy and passion was there, strangely so was distance and loneliness, some frustrating moments of silence, where the heart wanted to shout and scream, and some moments of emotional cacophony, when all i wanted was a dessert of silence, tender moments of pure unadulterated love which only a child can bring, Thankfully some moments of being one myself... so ya - all in all... a pretty no...