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Male bonding..

As per Linda Goodman, scorpio women have a hidden desire that they shd have been born a man! And my honesty makes me admit - this is very true for me... :-)
Have spent most of my growing up years as a tomboy - only very reluctantly did i get onto the 'girly side' of things! And when i think of why this shd be - very simply put, i think the biggest difference being a girl and a guy is that they seem to have such a simple approach to life!!

In india of course - being a guy gets you a whole lot of additional freedom that a girl doesnt have - and pls dont pretend that a 'modern / rational / unconventional' family doesnt have this discrimination... its the biggest fallacy possible. Girls in India - if they already dont have ppl tellng them to behave like 'girls', they themself recognize the fallouts of not behaving like one!

anyways - back to the topic at hand... what i admire about the guys' way of living - beyond this freedom of existing the way they like! well i must admit - over and above ethg else have always envied the male bonding which happens so easily!! over a cigarette, a drink... or just plain back slapping over a trivial issue... and then of course the best one is to pass comments on girls! :-)

in college - some of my best times were when we hung around as a group of buddies - gender was a non-issue! all of us shared PJs, did absolutely non-sensical stuff and maroed comments on girls and boys too!!! but still there were always times when us girls wud get kicked out and there wud be a boys night out! :-( but mostly this was over drinking oneself silly... and maybe even the closest of male friends dont want to do that in front of women!!

but the other fact of life is that for whatever its worth... i genuinely feel that this bonding is on the decline at an overall level... i mean these days... any bunch of friends u see - the girls pretty much match up on the drinking, smoking and other general silly-making activities!! not just this - but with the growing phenomena of men being 'more in touch with their sensitive side' - are they really turning to other men to share that; or is the girl-buddy coming to the rescue with her normal sensitive behavior? after all she can not only share the emotional stuff with u over a drink; but maybe even give u advice on which parlour to go to for that nose cleaning job!! ;-)

hmmm... should my envy now be lying down low? or have the men come up with something else that am missing right now???

Comments

deepu said…
Lots of Assumptions and low experience :) Might fit in the 10 % pie of the male bonding .. I think more than a smoke or a drink One of the biggest factors in a man finding one or more good friends is trust.I think men have the ability to develop and cultivate deep, meaningful male relationships faster than the female which makes life simpler. Most of the men who dont know how to make this relationship balance this by developing friendships around work, sports etc at every point of time . I think i should leave this topic here , else the tom boy might take my trip:)
August 11, 2008 at 5:14 PM
Akshay Hiremath said…
I find when I want to generally share stuff on life and when I need that emotional support from a friend, I end up going to my women friends. When I need the proverbial "shoulder to cry on", there are maybe 3 or 4 guy friends I can think of going to, but I can think of a lot more women friends. They normally are better with sensitive, emotional issues, though the Tom Boys amongst them may not fit the bill!! Come to think of it, over the past few years, I think I spend three fourths of my time with my women friends, and that's fine a lot of the time, but certainly not always!

With the women friends, it's always about having general chats on softer issues of life and at best there are a couple of common interests like movies and eating / pubbing out that we talk about. When it comes to hardcore interests and hobbies, however, I find that it's the guy friends that I have more in common with. So when it comes to things like a passion for sports or music or travel or that odd enquiry about the latest tech gadgets or even that occasional boisterousness, it's normally the guy frinds that I like to hang out with. These may not be everyday occurences, but every so often, it's good to meet up with the "boys" and exchange notes on these common interests.

So though I don't like to generalise because I've always believed a friend is a friend irrespective of gender, I do see some gender based trends emerging in terms of types of interactions. And to summarize things, though I'm very glad that I have a large number of women friends whom I happily spend a lot of time with, thank god for the few guy friends I have!!
August 13, 2008 at 3:38 AM
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