Mere pyaare Cheeku,
Another year has flown by and we have created so many
memories together!! Hopefully now you are old enough to remember some of them
yourself.
What a year we’ve had together… Your Scottish experience has
taken firm roots, you’re such a teachers’ pet in all spheres (its quite funny
to watch btw), you talk dime to a dozen – sometimes even making sense (!!), you’re
such a fabulous traveller too and above all else – you’re a very very sweet and
nice boy. I am sooooo relieved to see you turn out like this. I don’t know if I
would have been able to manage if you were a snooty brat or a dumb sissy! Sorry
to be biased – but I am certainly a satisfied mom. Maybe even a bit proud – ok ok…
a whole lot of proud mom J
I was thinking about what all I wanted to write in this
letter for you this year… in fact various themes have been running around my
head for the last couple of months now. But in the end – like always – I decided
I shall write what comes to me in a flow of writing to you. So here’s what is
in my heart for you –
5 life lessons I want to share with you on your 5th
birthday :
I learned these having lived through my own experiences and
am sure you will maybe understand them from my POV maybe some decades later…
but what if they can provoke some thoughts in your head and you get to this
understanding a little quicker. So take these as your mommy’s shortcuts for you
to grow up.
- GROW UP!!! Ha ha.. no am not in a hurry for you to age. I just want to tell you that everyone needs to grow up in life at some point of time. Parents keep kids sheltered and protected for a couple of decades and then let them learn from their experiences (at times very grudgingly). But GROW UP we all must. And what does this mean – not that you earn your keep or get married or have kids… Just learning to take on the responsibilities of your own actions – that’s what growing up is to me. Wanting to take decisions for yourself is a responsibility and not just a right. So think before you take decisions and once taken – own upto the results of those decisions. Don’t look for escape routes – putting the blame on someone, circumstances or even a drunken night – that’s what cowards do. So my wish for you my dear boy – is that you grow up brave.
- DON’T BE A PEOPLE PLEASER – Its good to be someone who’s liked by others around you. Trust me I speak from experience. Am usually very well liked – through school, college and jobs. It was only when I ran into people who seemed to dislike me that I realised that I had been bending over backwards trying to please people who didn’t want to like me – am sure they had their own reasons. But what I mean is that I ended up hurting my own self trying to please them. Even with people who seem to like you, don’t do things which you wouldn’t want to do – unless doing those things makes you happy. Listen to your own voice in the head – its usually 2 steps ahead of your brain. It will tell you when you’re doing things superficially. Or in a routine. Rather than meaning them. Also let me tell you what it means to have a people pleaser around you – it means someone who can be stupid about doing things with only one thought – What will someone else think of that action and what will my impression on that person be. Its plain irritating and drives me crazy waiting and watching the person to realise how stupid he is being – and am sure you know me enough by now to know that patience is not a virtue I possess. So please please please – for my sake – don’t do things to impress people. Do them by all means to make them happy. But not to impress. PLEASE!
- DO ONTO OTHERS AS YOU WANT DONE ONTO YOU. This one is really simple. And yet the rarest of skills I see in people around me. Everyone feels privileged. And entitled. As if the world was meant to bend to their wills. And yet when its someone else expecting the same thing – the same people don’t get it. If you want respect, learn to give respect. If you want to be a leader, learn to be led as well. The one thing in life I have had maximum issues with is Double Standards. I just haven’t been able to deal with this in anyone. Expecting anything different from what you’re willing to give – just doesn’t work. With me. I really hope you will not be one of those people who don’t get this.
- BEING FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT IS NOT A CHOICE. Period. However much you might think your parents have or will be ready to support you, there’s no bigger thrill in life that being totally self-reliant. Unfortunately that comes with a tag. The size of that tag is totally upto you – but own it, you must. You choose the lifestyle you can support. You choose your indulgences which you can fulfil. And say two hoots to the world post that. But only POST that. You have no right to throw attitude or show off on anyone else’s support – financial, emotional or even physical. I wish someday I tell you tales from my life when the course of my life was governed by the fact that I was financially independent. It helped me become mentally and emotionally independent. I really wish you attain this for your self-respect. And for you to respect this trait in others too.
- RETAIN YOUR IDEALS. Going through the points above I realise that I am sounding a bit preachy and maybe making this all about making you into a socially-misfit and snooty character. But what I am trying to push towards you are my ideals. And I really hope someday you identify your own. But most importantly – you’re able to retain your ideals. This world is full of cynics like me – people who let the hurt in life get the better of us and lose our rose-tinted glasses too easy. I wish for you that you’re able to move beyond cynicism and while absorbing the reality of life – still are able to retain your ideals. Your north pole. Your reason to be.
This 9th Obtober (yes that’s how you still refer
to it!!!) – you’re entering the young boy age group. Moving from being a
toddler. Certainly not a little kid anymore. New learning in life is coming
your way faster than bullets fired from a gun. Make the most of it my son. The world
is full of wonders, waiting for you to see, hear and absorb the true
significance of the fact that we’re here… in the middle of this miracle called
life. May you see the beauty in everything around you and be grateful for the
many blessings that have come our way. Just like I am grateful for every breath
of my life that I have with you in it.
With my heart bursting with love for you…
Ma (the name I wish you
call me someday)
Mumma (the name I hear
everyday)
Mummy (the name I hear
when you speak in Hindi ;P )
Poo-Poo (the name I hear
when you’re in your funny mood)
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