This was a topic of discussion a few days ago over a girlie lunch in office... strange location and timing i know! but then i love my office for its non-conformity to 'accepted practises'... :-)
Predictably - when u have crossed the age of 32-33 and have been in enough relationships to know what they're about... such discussion topics can come up. Legitimately. Spontaneously. With complete relevance for the audience. so an all-engaging, entertaining and involved discussion followed. Of course - as is common - such discussions leave me with me even more random thoughts in my head than before the discussion.
so i went hunting to where it needs to begin logically - the definitions of these terms...
So here goes - this is how wikipedia defines Lust and Love..
Lust (or lechery) is an inordinate craving for coitus often to the point of assuming a self-indulgent, and sometimes violent character.
As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person.
Hmmm... So if a relation starts off on the lust platform does it mean love has been ruled out? Not really - in theory that is. But on deeper probing it does seem kind of improbable doesnt it?
I mean lust has been defined as being self-indulgent and Love is caring for someone else - opposites eh??
On the other hand - my logic has been that in lust u get to know the person truly - possibly in the kind of ways that polite social setups dont allow too much of... and if u still like someone there, then shouldnt it become that much easier to fall in love with such a person?? Becoz u've of course cracked that part of the relation anyways... and the sensitivities of the people concerned would have come through without any pretences (or am i being too naive??)
But i think my kind of thinking is very 'WOMAN'-driven... Men would most probably not agree with this strain of thought. I believe the loss of the 'chase' element would have already written the relationship off in a number of ways for them. Where's the thrill in an emotional chase? Esp since the physical surrender is usually seen to be at a much higher level in our society - it presumes that the emotional surrender has been achieved already.
And then of course there's the omnipresent tendency to 'label' -
so if lust came before love for a man - he's just being ... well.. a MAN...
if it did for a woman - man, she's a fast one aint she? ;-)
If the love finally does come thru for a man - well maybe he is desparately clinging on to what he could get...
If a woman does the same - she was always intending to hook and book him!!!
And before anyone thinks am being too cynical here - pls tell me the last time u thought that someone was labelling you for sthg... and i can bet it wont be too far back in the past...
Anyways - to cut to the final take from me on this topic...Reminds me of the oft-read but maybe not understood this clearly before quote -
Women give sex to get love
Men give love to get sex!!
Happy Lusting to all - love comes along once in a while, so be happy with whats available more easily!!!
:-)
Predictably - when u have crossed the age of 32-33 and have been in enough relationships to know what they're about... such discussion topics can come up. Legitimately. Spontaneously. With complete relevance for the audience. so an all-engaging, entertaining and involved discussion followed. Of course - as is common - such discussions leave me with me even more random thoughts in my head than before the discussion.
so i went hunting to where it needs to begin logically - the definitions of these terms...
So here goes - this is how wikipedia defines Lust and Love..
Lust (or lechery) is an inordinate craving for coitus often to the point of assuming a self-indulgent, and sometimes violent character.
As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person.
Hmmm... So if a relation starts off on the lust platform does it mean love has been ruled out? Not really - in theory that is. But on deeper probing it does seem kind of improbable doesnt it?
I mean lust has been defined as being self-indulgent and Love is caring for someone else - opposites eh??
On the other hand - my logic has been that in lust u get to know the person truly - possibly in the kind of ways that polite social setups dont allow too much of... and if u still like someone there, then shouldnt it become that much easier to fall in love with such a person?? Becoz u've of course cracked that part of the relation anyways... and the sensitivities of the people concerned would have come through without any pretences (or am i being too naive??)
But i think my kind of thinking is very 'WOMAN'-driven... Men would most probably not agree with this strain of thought. I believe the loss of the 'chase' element would have already written the relationship off in a number of ways for them. Where's the thrill in an emotional chase? Esp since the physical surrender is usually seen to be at a much higher level in our society - it presumes that the emotional surrender has been achieved already.
And then of course there's the omnipresent tendency to 'label' -
so if lust came before love for a man - he's just being ... well.. a MAN...
if it did for a woman - man, she's a fast one aint she? ;-)
If the love finally does come thru for a man - well maybe he is desparately clinging on to what he could get...
If a woman does the same - she was always intending to hook and book him!!!
And before anyone thinks am being too cynical here - pls tell me the last time u thought that someone was labelling you for sthg... and i can bet it wont be too far back in the past...
Anyways - to cut to the final take from me on this topic...Reminds me of the oft-read but maybe not understood this clearly before quote -
Women give sex to get love
Men give love to get sex!!
Happy Lusting to all - love comes along once in a while, so be happy with whats available more easily!!!
:-)
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