Rambling on... again..

Tralaalaalaaa... What a lovely lovely day it is! I am walking with a little extra bounce in my feet and a small smile on my face - Fixed! And all because - well my 30year old yoga instructor, early in the morning - while breaking my back and generally making me curse mentally (and loudly at times), asks my age. On realising that i am well...ahem...41+ - She was not just shocked into breaking the rhthym of the aasna (a nice side benefit if i may say so), but she actually tried getting me to recalculate my age and do it properly! All because for the last 4 months, she's been calling me 'tum' (and not 'aap) and generally pushing me hard as she thought i am a couple of years younger than her!!!!!! Hell yeah!!!!!! While i was mentally busy feeling all smug about how truly flexible and fit my body must be for her to be mistaken like this, all the while i was pretending to be unaffected to her in person. And yet now - 6 hours later - am still smiling! Whosoever said Age is...

Hi Ruaan, This is the first year that i have actually started using your proper name with you - at times. It feels good. Just as it feels warm and cuddly in my heart to call you 'Cheeku', it feels proud and strong in my heart to call you 'Ruaan'. As you turn 3, there's so much more to US now. I love the stories you make up and tell me. I especially love the morning hugs i get from you to wake me up. Your fav one these days is to offer me a hug where i lie on top of your ear - kaan ke upar waali huggie chahiye? Our relationship has shifted a bit now from last year - where it was mainly about keeping you happy and safe. Now I worry if i am bringing you some good values. If i am able to show you what kind of a human being i would love for you to be. I am aware that soon enough, I will need to let you choose your own path in this world, but i hope by then i would have equipped you with the values to choose the one you want - well. This morning when i started th...

Over the last few months, have had several conversations with friends on the seemingly growing number of divorces around us. The married ones talk of it with a 'tut-tut' of disapproval and a maybe sometimes even a 'sigh' of wishful dreams of single-again lifestyles. The single ones talk of it much more matter-of-factly - maybe mostly as they cant afford to be judgemental about this subject. So got me into another long wondrous rant mentally on WHY - exactly WHY is being married so bloody important in our society? Actually its importance can be judged by the sheer effort that almost each and every individual puts towards finding it - NOTE - not in maintaining it, but finding it. From when you're born, almost everyone grows up with the notion of being 'special' to someone. Parents, grandparents, friends, siblings and then eventually your romantic interests in life - we all love the feeling of being 'special'. Had read this article recently which ...

The day started off on a very different note… Rain, dark clouds, unexpected holiday for the husband and little one cuddling up to me like he does every morning. Holding him in my arms, sat in the balcony having the morning cuppa, enjoying the absolutely gorgeous lush greenery and play of dark thunderous clouds in the sky. Rains delayed the newspaper and made me turn to catching up on social media instead. Chatted with a friend – admiring the tribulations and joys of motherhood with her. And then… got a message from a friend how a batchmate of his passed away unexpectedly. Suddenly. Without warning. Regular life – broken. Regular family – bereft. Regular friends – shocked. Suddenly the same world view looked different. The greys took on a different hue. The greens looked faded. Darkness in the sky reflected my heart. So many incomplete things. So much more to be said, shared, felt, done, achieved, experienced. Lives affected irreversibly. Have seen what happens when a child loses...

Hello cheeku… You’re truly becoming a ‘BIG’ boy now. Its such a delight to have you around me – at most times! :P From the last year to now – soooooo much has changed in our lives together. You go to a day care now for a few hours, have made your own friends there that your mamma knows nothing about, have your own schedules and even look forward to your life away from home and us I guess. But the one thing that has remained the same or maybe only increased is how much I adore you. Totally. Simply. Madly. Deeply. Wholeheartedly. Unequivocally. Selfishly. Selflessly. I think you’re the best kid God could have sent down for me. You’re soo much like me and yet in so many ways so different. I love the way you’re so loving towards everyone… you’re not a naturally aggressive person (so far!). And yet your boundless energy and especially your love for sports I am sure comes from your dad totally. Its such a good blend to have – I just hope we’re able to nurture it in you for a lon...

A key trait I see in a lot of women around me is to retain the baby FAT - much after the baby is an all grown up adult. FAT for me is Full on Attention ! Its almost as if the life of a woman ends when she becomes a revered MOTHER. I get all the hue and cry and the blissful experience and the happiness in sacrifice etc - but I really do not get how most other parts of a total personality are expected to (and made to even) get supressed. And of course the individual still leads a 'totally fulfilling' life as per all social beliefs. Guilt of being anything less than a 100% baby FAT mom makes many a woman give up on a lot of things - some big, some small. But since its largely a woman's own choice - I believe the concept of a fulfilling life still holds true. What I get all worked up about however are cases where judgements are cast when a woman decides to not be 100% focused only on the baby. From a small thing like an evening out with friends to other ones like travellin...