A key trait I see in a lot of women around me is to retain the baby FAT - much after the baby is an all grown up adult. FAT for me is Full on Attention! Its almost as if the life of a woman ends when she becomes a revered MOTHER. I get all the hue and cry and the blissful experience and the happiness in sacrifice etc - but I really do not get how most other parts of a total personality are expected to (and made to even) get supressed. And of course the individual still leads a 'totally fulfilling' life as per all social beliefs.
Guilt of being anything less than a 100% baby FAT mom makes many a woman give up on a lot of things - some big, some small. But since its largely a woman's own choice - I believe the concept of a fulfilling life still holds true. What I get all worked up about however are cases where judgements are cast when a woman decides to not be 100% focused only on the baby. From a small thing like an evening out with friends to other ones like travelling without the baby - everything automatically makes the mom the 'worst mom ever'.
The role of others in the said baby's life are forever only 'supportive' - including the Dad for that matter. A guy taking leave from office because his baby's Mom is travelling on work is almost unheard of. The reverse is of course a reality. Without generalising all things men as bad, all am saying is that i find the whole social assumption of the mother being the primary (and in many cases ONLY) care taker of a child as totally and utterly unfair.
This is how our sons grow up with the belief that they can leave the 'womanly' matters of household management and children care to the fairer sex. Also why our daughters let them live with this belief i guess.
Is it so bad to send the child to a day care - even if you're a homemaker? After all you do get some time off for yourself even if its just to while it away on doing nothing.
Is it unreal to expect the man of the house to actually manage the house and baby without throwing a 'see i am such a progressive man' attitude? He lives in the same house doesnt he?? And goes to town showing off the happy baby and family in pics... So why's managing it not a part of his daily routine?
I dream of a world where the baby FAT is more divided... am not dreamy enough to expect this to be fairly divided... but at least 'substantially shared' will make me a happy woman!
Guilt of being anything less than a 100% baby FAT mom makes many a woman give up on a lot of things - some big, some small. But since its largely a woman's own choice - I believe the concept of a fulfilling life still holds true. What I get all worked up about however are cases where judgements are cast when a woman decides to not be 100% focused only on the baby. From a small thing like an evening out with friends to other ones like travelling without the baby - everything automatically makes the mom the 'worst mom ever'.
The role of others in the said baby's life are forever only 'supportive' - including the Dad for that matter. A guy taking leave from office because his baby's Mom is travelling on work is almost unheard of. The reverse is of course a reality. Without generalising all things men as bad, all am saying is that i find the whole social assumption of the mother being the primary (and in many cases ONLY) care taker of a child as totally and utterly unfair.
This is how our sons grow up with the belief that they can leave the 'womanly' matters of household management and children care to the fairer sex. Also why our daughters let them live with this belief i guess.
Is it so bad to send the child to a day care - even if you're a homemaker? After all you do get some time off for yourself even if its just to while it away on doing nothing.
Is it unreal to expect the man of the house to actually manage the house and baby without throwing a 'see i am such a progressive man' attitude? He lives in the same house doesnt he?? And goes to town showing off the happy baby and family in pics... So why's managing it not a part of his daily routine?
I dream of a world where the baby FAT is more divided... am not dreamy enough to expect this to be fairly divided... but at least 'substantially shared' will make me a happy woman!
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