Rambling on... again..

My dearest darling Ruaan, I have absolutely loved this year gone by with you! At 5, you’ve become so much more aware of your surroundings and relationships – conversations are becoming fun and serious both. I find myself looking forward to spending time with you on my own to talk, watch movies or even just play. Today (29 th Aug) you sat on my lap and typed out with your 1 little finger the below line - “I love u mama the most and papa too” So let me get back to what I wanted to tell you… this year there have been many many things on my mind on what all I wanted to write to you. But I find myself preferring to talk to you directly – and trust me, even though when you’re 18 you might think mom was a fool for thinking I understood what she was saying – but currently, I absolutely adore your simplicity and innocence in comprehending whatever crap I am throwing your way. By the time you read these and understand, you would know that we have a couple of heart babies in our f...

So over the last couple of months or so have met quite a few of my peers – from college or work. +/- 20 years work experience, in the 40’s, mostly well settled at home, have built themselves a decent financial cushion, travel the world and for all practical purposes are in their ‘prime’. And yet I have sensed a general sense of fatigue in most of us. Pretty much without exception. Maybe this is whats referred to as the great Mid Life Crisis. Have been spending some time thinking and discussing this phenomenon with others – have to admit the first emotion is usually always a great sense of relief that ‘I am not the only one feeling this’. Which by itself makes me think that there must be many more like us out there. So penning this down in case someone who’s not as chatty as I am and maybe needs a small pat of reassurance of ‘You’re not alone in this’ can get it. So why this fatigue? And mind it that this has usually nothing to do with the current role or organisation you’re...

“A manager typically spends 40% of his/her time in resolving conflicts within the team” – resonates very closely to my position at work. And am sure with a lot of others too. However whats different is how I chose to address this – Very directly. Very very directly. I recently conducted a team session for my direct reportees – away from work and more importantly away from their phones and laptops. The day started with a lot of anxiety as the team came in with all kinds of fears in their minds. I guess the pre session introspection advice I had sent out to the team kind of made them think the day was ging to be full of finger pointing and shaming each other. I realised that most people equate straight talk with rude talk. Hence here’s my advice to any manager who believes their team needs a moment to stop and reflect. 1.        Be very very clear in your head about the end objective of the session – it should be about ‘Enabling’ and not only ‘Moti...

I am out visiting my family and A calls to say he’s getting free earlier and will get home before me. I get asked ‘Oh now you’ll need to leave early too’ – actually not in a question sense, more like a statement. I set up a girly evening with friends and decide to host it at home. A is home at that time – and am asked ‘Oh shouldn’t we ask him to join us? He will feel bad.’ Now the point of all these questions is that if the man of the house is free – the woman i.e. me – should make myself available to be around him. Lets visit another scenario observed - Everytime I travel on work, I get asked ‘Oh how will R manage?’ – without an exception. Every single time. Whether am going for 1 day or 4. And no – this is never asked to the man of the house. I am wondering why is there an inherent assumption that the poor guy is incapable of looking after himself or HIS child or HIS house? I mean, give the soul a break. He’s been educated the same as me. He’s been brought up to be a s...

Recently as a part of Women's Day celebrations in office, we were asked to think and share about our biggest challenges we face in our lives currently. It struck me very strongly that a lot of the women were struggling with the whole work-life balance aspect in life. I truly caught myself thinking why's this such a big deal - felt truly snobbish for a short moment and then sent up a very very thankful thought to heavens above that i could afford to think like this. In my almost 21 years of working, I have gone through my own phases of - Work is life - Work takes away from life - Work comes in the way of life and then kind of settled at - Work is a part of life My life journey i guess was determined more by the way i used my work to get what i wanted out of life - rather than being a mute spectator of life because work was so overwhelming. This of course is different for everyone just simply because all our life journeys are different. But i do want to share my lear...

What makes a house into a home… Personal pictures on the walls? Self-chosen bedsheets on the beds? Nameplate on the door? Ever since we shifted into our own place 4 months back, this question or rather self-test has been on my mind. It’s like some part of me has been watching out for the moment when I start calling it my home. More than calling – catch the moment it starts feeling like home. From what I observed – I went through some stages in my ‘settling in’ -  Initial couple of months were the most disorienting. From turning towards the older home to not knowing who I would find in the house working on some small niggles. It felt like I was living in a space that was mine on paper but maybe a pit stop till we shifted into ‘our’ own space later. Like a waiting room of sorts. Lots of sentences were concluded with – “when we settle down finally”  By the time the labour finally left us alone, it was already 2 months since shifting into the house. By now we kind ...