Skip to main content

Life Experiences are the best teachers!

Having grown up on a liberal dose of Mills & Boons and eternal love stories, its been a life-long grudge with God / Fate / Destiny of mine that that’s been the one thing which always eluded me – Butterflies in my tummy and stars in my eyes kind of love.

I remember when I was in 8th grade – I won an extempore speech contest where the topic given to me as I stepped onto the stage was ‘Happiness’. I had about 30 seconds to gather my thoughts and then make a 2 minute long speech on the topic. I don’t really remember what I spoke exactly – except for 2 things. 1). I finished in 1.30 minutes. 2). I finished with a quote I remembered on happiness – Happiness is like a butterfly – runs away from you the more you chase it. But if you were to sit quietly and turn your attention elsewhere, you might just find it coming on its own and sitting on your shoulder.

(I think even I would have given myself the award for this!! )

But anyways – that’s what Romance became for me. I think I chased it so much that it kept eluding me. Not sure if it is yet sitting on my shoulder – but I have definitely turned my attention away from it. The big benefit of this has not been that I managed to find it finally – but that I could finally recognize and register what all I was ignoring in my quest for just this one thing.

Most of the people who know me today – I think – would know that I got married and divorced fairly young and then was single for a pretty long time. In my late 30’s – I restarted this part of life. Marriage and then a kid soon. Its now almost a decade of this way of life as well.

What I realized soon enough was that my life journey, while not very unique, was fairly different from the average one. Given the gift of the gab from an early age (as you would have read above) and a really strong belief in learning from experiences (mine or others) – I am now planning to put down some of my own relationship observations. The only intention here is that sometimes when the world seems too biased against us, if you read about someone else having gone through similar scenario – it lifts a weight of being alone from your shoulders. Here’s to some weight-lifting of the soul…

I will try and address some of the key aspects of relationships which I feel I have reasonable amount of either experience or opinion or both on! So each of these will be a stand-alone read as well as a series if you get interested enough to read more.

To give a preview of the topics i want to cover...

- When to walk away.. when is it that you know that the relationship wont work..

- Making the 2nd innings work..

- Dealing with the 'Footloose and fancy free divorcee' tag

- Why it matters to have a good FQ - financial quotient

Hopefully will get feedback to include more topics as i go along. Will not make any promises of any kind of timelines... but i do promise that i am happy to chat on any of these or other relationship oriented topics. I am not in any way a trained expert - never will i claim to be one - but i do have more than 20 years of experience of having the rug pulled from under my feet! If that counts.. do read on and reach out :)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Starting Over...

In life, beginings and ends form such a crucial part of living - never have i realised it more than in the last month or so. Both personally and professionally - too many things are ending and too many new ones are beginning. Its very easy to get nostalgic about whats ended - easier still to forget that it was us who wanted that stage to end ourselves. All because somewhere or the other in our heart - we're scared of the next stage... scared of not being sure... maybe of not having the comfort of belonging - like how we did earlier. Leaving aside the personal changes - professionally, after working for 14 years non-stop, i quit. To the world - i've taken a 'break'. No plans, No hidden cards (yes i got told that by quite a few), No waiting-by-the-side offers... just needed to not feel fatigued in life and figured that it IS after all, MY OWN LIFE... so i can do what feels right to me... without guilt, or feeling irresponsible, or even just guilt of being lazy!! Its my go...

Its Father's Day today...

Its quite strange that for a society like ours which thrives and survives on family values - we never had these 'days' as a part of our culture. not that it means that we dont value these relations - just that i would have loved to have more days to celebrate these lovely relations! its the same as having a birthday - its not that you dont love that person the rest of the 364 days - but that day makes him/her feel extra special!! and what's life if not a collection of these small moments of feeling 'special' to someone... so am all for all these 'days' - tho' pls i do draw a line at celebrating 'boss day'!!! :-) Anyways - back to the topic "My Daddy Strongest!!" - this line never failed to make me smile everytime i saw it on TV... Its always strange for me to describe my relation with my dad... am the youngest of 3... dad was 38 when i was born... busy struggling to keep a roof over the family's head having left his family business ...

Being single at 35

“How does it feel?” – is a question some of the long-married friends of mine have asked me from time to time and more so recently. Maybe now that some of them have started approaching their 10th anniversaries – maybe its playing on their minds more than before! :-) And I have always believed that the old idiom of ‘grass being greener on the other side’ applies to women more than men!! We always seem to want or at least be intensly curious about whatever’s out of our reach! But to get back to the question being asked… how DOES it feel being single at 35? I don’t know if I can answer it actually – becoz then I need to know how else it could have felt at 35!! It feels bloody normal to me right now… :-) Maybe not what I expected it to feel at 35 – but this is how it is. It feels strange sometimes to have friends talk about their 9 yr old kids… It feels pretty normal to have enough free time to do what catches my fancy… It feels normal to never complain about ‘me’ time… Its strange to come ...