This Women’s Day, IWD has chose the theme of the day to be Choose to Challenge. It’s a well-known fact that we all need to Challenge the way women issues are being handled, challenge the pay gaps, challenge the discrepancies in law in various countries and so many more such issues at a global level.
When I think about this however, I would like to think that we need to challenge ourselves first. Challenge our thinking, mindset and beliefs we hold dear – many a times without even realizing it.
A prime example of this is the role of a woman at home and the deep mindset conditioning that the kitchen is a woman’s responsibility. I believe that in many many ways, the stereotyping that we are protesting about at a global level, starts in our own homes in general and kitchens in particular. Across the world – across cultures – this is one of the things which is consistent. If there’s a woman in the house, the kitchen is her responsibility. If you find a man in there, its seen to be a favor or a generous act on his part. Why?? He’s also got a family to look after, a tummy to fill and a brain to understand what food means – so why is it that he’s seen to be ‘helping’ and just simply ‘doing’ a chore? The speed with which jokes happen targeting that man is faster that Flash! Everything ranging from ‘Joru ka Gulaam’ to ‘Such a wimp’ can happen – if not openly, then at the minimum in the thinking of those around him.
Lets accept the fact that traditional roles cannot be used as an excuse to stay stuck in the past. There is no skill set which cannot be learnt by anyone who really wants to – “he can’t multi-task” is not something to be proud of. “She’s the home incharge” – let this be in mind and spirit and not an excuse to shirk work. Recognize it for what it is – a mind-blowing effort to keep the family healthy and happy. Not a silly chore to be done and hence delegated to a non-important person. What always pains me more is that more than the men – usually it’s the women of the house who need to be reminded of this.
So let us #ChoosetoChallenge this mindset – in ourselves. Next time you go to someone’s house on a visit, don’t turn to the woman to ask anything about food. Ask the man. Ask the men going with you to help lay the table at the very least. If you’re a man, get up and do it yourself. Next time you have the lead to a new grocer or something similar – don’t pass it on to the women friends only, pass it to the men too. Don’t be a silent spectator. Raise your voice – not as a protest – just as a polite reminder. To the men and women in your life and especially the younger ones – and to your own self.
What's important to realize is that its not about gender inequality really – its all about deep stereotyping we all do around gender roles. That’s the harmful bit – it makes anyone who steps outside of these stereotypes appear to be an anomaly. And since as a culture we love boxing everything up into neat little things – ‘out of the box’ very quickly becomes ‘out of the society’.
Lets start really small – though I believe this will be a huge and fundamental shift with very wide ramifications. We’ll reserve the activism and protest out on the streets for later – lets just start at home in general and in the kitchen in particular.
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