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Abhi mujh mein kahin...


 


अभी मुझ में कहीं बाकी थोड़ीसी है जिंदगी

जगी धड़कन नई, जाना जिंदा हूँ मैं तो अभी

कुछ ऐसी लगन इस लम्हें में है

ये लम्हा कहाँ था मेरा

अब है सामने इसे छू लूँ जरा

मर जाऊँ या जी लूँ जरा

खुशियाँ चूम लूँ या रो लूँ जरा

 

Almost every time I hear this song, it makes me cry. Not a clogging of throat.. not even a chest constriction… just straight off full-blown tears streaming down my eyes. And let me change this to the truth – not ALMOST, but EVERY time I hear this song.

Don’t need a psychologist to tell me it appeals to the very core of me because somewhere deep down I FEEL this song. The lyrics are talking to me. Sonu Nigam’s voice of course lends it even more soulful but still the lyrics are much more stronger contributor to my reaction.

The hole in my soul is what I’m reminded of. The feeling of life going by and me just a by-watcher instead of a participant. Feeling chained without there being any chains at all. I think by far the worst thing is not knowing what to do to let go of this feeling.

Is it inertia? Being stuck in some kind of comfort zone? Or simply being too scared to do something really different? What if I fail? What if someone laughs at me? What if I lose what I have built with such effort?

Maybe just acknowledging the need is a good first step. Maybe identifying something to do about it will be the next. And just about maybe, doing something about it will fill the hole a bit...

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