Restlessness in my soul...

Meandering through life
Constantly seeking something
Which has no shape or form
Or even a vague direction

Why is it that the conviction never leaves me
That its nearby within reach
If I could only see through the haze
If only I tried harder to find it

Its as if once I find it
All missing pieces will come together
It’ll give me the goalpost address
I’ll stop meandering then…

Move from being a direction-less stream
To a calm and purposeful river
Who knows there’s an ocean up ahead
Waiting with open arms to welcome her

Welcome her with absolute acceptance
And whatever she brings with her
No judgements, no conditions
Just a warm never-ending embrace saying ‘I missed you!’

‘Where were you my sweetheart?
I’ve been waiting so long…
Without you my vastness is incomplete
And my existness itself – seems wrong’

What will be after I find the direction is so clear
Is it even possible that I can be mistaken?
That there may not be anything up ahead
Except the drudgery of the life I currently lead…

Comments

Reading is what saved me…

Its funny to say or hear this but its true. In my life, books happened very early on in life and I got totally hooked to the escape they offered. Given our financial constraints growing up, books were a cheap way to get those kicks in life. A nearby renting library with an endless supply of M&Bs and Georgette Heyer’s and other similar ‘fluffy’ fiction – made it all super easy. I devoured books from the school library, shamelessly borrowed (and returned) books from friends and neighbors and never shied away from being seen with a book at the every juncture. Its truly a wonder that i didn' t get glasses at that stage in life! Books saved me from the stress that financial constraints bring to a child’s mind. Books saved me from the boredom that brings on negative thinking. Books told me that having and expressing emotions were totally fine – I could shed copious tears while reading without any fear of judgement. I could laugh out loud at a smart and sassy scene. Instead they...

F$#@ Buddies

When I first heard this term – in all my naivety (yes it DOES apply to me at times!!) – I really thought it means its someone who’s a buddy and you also f@#$ them… seemed to make little sense to me at that time – simply because I thought that’s what I define as my perfect formula for a life partner!! Why coin a whole new term for something as basic as say a soul mate etc… Only later did I finally grow up to realize that there’s a whole new world out there in which terms like this make so much sense… and its not what I thought… Its someone who u f@#$ and can be sure to keep it a secret like a buddy!!! Or it’s a buddy - who when u’re down and out, you can ask for a f@#$ if you really need it!! Now why did this come to mind now… well simply becoz in a recent episode of ‘sex and the city’ – the girls are discussing this! And I was wondering about this kind of relationships – if they can be called that. Especially so in our culture here - where most people in my circle at least (or so i wud...

For Ruaan.. 9th October 2014

Hello cheeku… You’re truly becoming a ‘BIG’ boy now. Its such a delight to have you around me – at most times! :P From the last year to now – soooooo much has changed in our lives together. You go to a day care now for a few hours, have made your own friends there that your mamma knows nothing about, have your own schedules and even look forward to your life away from home and us I guess. But the one thing that has remained the same or maybe only increased is how much I adore you. Totally. Simply. Madly. Deeply. Wholeheartedly. Unequivocally. Selfishly. Selflessly. I think you’re the best kid God could have sent down for me. You’re soo much like me and yet in so many ways so different. I love the way you’re so loving towards everyone… you’re not a naturally aggressive person (so far!). And yet your boundless energy and especially your love for sports I am sure comes from your dad totally. Its such a good blend to have – I just hope we’re able to nurture it in you for a lon...

Rambling on... again..

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