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I, Me, Myself...

There are so many times in life when we get told - or at least i did - 'Dont be selfish...' or 'think about others around you'... countless times i can remember being in situations where this or something similar was the most common refrain... or even the easiest way of getting someone to quieten down and stop arguing!

What amazes me is the fact that its not very often that someone tells you - 'think about yourself'... or 'do what you think is right for you'...or simply 'live for yourself'!! why is this seen to be selfish? and not equally human as looking after those you love or care for? after all - looking after yourself is the most 'basic instinct' possible for civilization to exist at all!! when it comes to a real crunch situation - and the social veneer gets ripped off, 99% of people would end up first taking care of their own lives and needs than someone else's..

so then why and where did it become bad to be selfish? And become SO ingrained into our psyche that anything which remotely resembles self-oriented is not acceptable - by and large...

One of my most commonly quoted views around this is that Even charity is selfish. There's usually a need within us to salvage some of our guilt of being better off than others, that usually makes us become charitable...

How many of us can honestly answer the simple question - What do you want in life? - without bringing in anyone else into this?
Eg. - I want to be a better/ good mom/dad/son/daughter/husband/wife...

The only other aspect which enters this domain of answers is 'i want to be recognized / have power / lots of money'... which i guess is fine... but whenever i have gone to the next level of questioning on what they'll do if they have what they want - it mostly again lapses back into - house/world trip/ education / jewellery etc for family!! :-)

Is this true only becoz indians have family almost tortured into our fiber??!!!

someone's decision to not live with folks is still taken as abandonment... of emotions as well as responsibility.
a decision to fork out an esoteric career is seen to be shrugging accountability.

with the changes in our culture creeping in - or maybe sheer economics guiding it - nuclear families are on the rise. yet - is this translating into more self-centered behavior? Am not sure - maybe just the definition of 'family' has shrunk...

will our society be even possible - without such a great 'social' fabric?
is there something to be gained for us by becoming more 'selfish'?

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