Skip to main content

I, Me, Myself...

There are so many times in life when we get told - or at least i did - 'Dont be selfish...' or 'think about others around you'... countless times i can remember being in situations where this or something similar was the most common refrain... or even the easiest way of getting someone to quieten down and stop arguing!

What amazes me is the fact that its not very often that someone tells you - 'think about yourself'... or 'do what you think is right for you'...or simply 'live for yourself'!! why is this seen to be selfish? and not equally human as looking after those you love or care for? after all - looking after yourself is the most 'basic instinct' possible for civilization to exist at all!! when it comes to a real crunch situation - and the social veneer gets ripped off, 99% of people would end up first taking care of their own lives and needs than someone else's..

so then why and where did it become bad to be selfish? And become SO ingrained into our psyche that anything which remotely resembles self-oriented is not acceptable - by and large...

One of my most commonly quoted views around this is that Even charity is selfish. There's usually a need within us to salvage some of our guilt of being better off than others, that usually makes us become charitable...

How many of us can honestly answer the simple question - What do you want in life? - without bringing in anyone else into this?
Eg. - I want to be a better/ good mom/dad/son/daughter/husband/wife...

The only other aspect which enters this domain of answers is 'i want to be recognized / have power / lots of money'... which i guess is fine... but whenever i have gone to the next level of questioning on what they'll do if they have what they want - it mostly again lapses back into - house/world trip/ education / jewellery etc for family!! :-)

Is this true only becoz indians have family almost tortured into our fiber??!!!

someone's decision to not live with folks is still taken as abandonment... of emotions as well as responsibility.
a decision to fork out an esoteric career is seen to be shrugging accountability.

with the changes in our culture creeping in - or maybe sheer economics guiding it - nuclear families are on the rise. yet - is this translating into more self-centered behavior? Am not sure - maybe just the definition of 'family' has shrunk...

will our society be even possible - without such a great 'social' fabric?
is there something to be gained for us by becoming more 'selfish'?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Starting Over...

In life, beginings and ends form such a crucial part of living - never have i realised it more than in the last month or so. Both personally and professionally - too many things are ending and too many new ones are beginning. Its very easy to get nostalgic about whats ended - easier still to forget that it was us who wanted that stage to end ourselves. All because somewhere or the other in our heart - we're scared of the next stage... scared of not being sure... maybe of not having the comfort of belonging - like how we did earlier. Leaving aside the personal changes - professionally, after working for 14 years non-stop, i quit. To the world - i've taken a 'break'. No plans, No hidden cards (yes i got told that by quite a few), No waiting-by-the-side offers... just needed to not feel fatigued in life and figured that it IS after all, MY OWN LIFE... so i can do what feels right to me... without guilt, or feeling irresponsible, or even just guilt of being lazy!! Its my go...
5 comments
Read more

Its Father's Day today...

Its quite strange that for a society like ours which thrives and survives on family values - we never had these 'days' as a part of our culture. not that it means that we dont value these relations - just that i would have loved to have more days to celebrate these lovely relations! its the same as having a birthday - its not that you dont love that person the rest of the 364 days - but that day makes him/her feel extra special!! and what's life if not a collection of these small moments of feeling 'special' to someone... so am all for all these 'days' - tho' pls i do draw a line at celebrating 'boss day'!!! :-) Anyways - back to the topic "My Daddy Strongest!!" - this line never failed to make me smile everytime i saw it on TV... Its always strange for me to describe my relation with my dad... am the youngest of 3... dad was 38 when i was born... busy struggling to keep a roof over the family's head having left his family business ...
4 comments
Read more

Chauvinism rears its head again...

Maybe had just got spoilt with the lull on this front ... but when faced with an in-ur-face display of chauvinism happened, i was yet again caught by surprise! why do i keep getting surprised still after so many years, i dont know... maybe am just too slow in my head!! ;-) in my head - an educated, corporate professional who's been in existence in this current world scenario - when asked 'do your sisters work?' DOES NOT reply with an 'of course not!' in my head - the above described person DOES NOT insist on 'homely' (read : non-working) as a pre-requisite for his life-partner! in my head - the above described person is fictional!! :o) but no - with my luck - trust me to run into this person... and since i firmly believe that there's always a reason why anything happens in life... i shall aim to look for reasons here as well... 1. had to remember the lessons learnt in body language (limp handshake = limp mind and who knows limp what else!!) he he!! 2. h...
3 comments
Read more