Such coincidence that my last topic here became the reason for a very disturbed friend to rant about!!! Her colleagues in a pre-dominated male setup were making her feel excluded... and she was convinced it was because she is a woman and doesnt do the 'male bonding' bits!
The same bonding mechanisms - after-hours drinking, bitching about women colleagues - kind of by their own nature mostly exclude a married mom who also wants to do a fair job at work. Couple it with the fact that this friend is not from the top-most premier mgmt college and is yet at par with some men who are (and are her 'seniors' by a few batches!). She is convinced that this has contributed a fair bit towards providing some more fodder for the discrimination she feels she's going through.
But would all this justify the behavior of these few 'good' men? Is it ok to behave in a fashion which just comes naturally to them? Is it really needed that they feel more responsible for their actions vis-a-vis the impact that it may have on their colleague? are they even doing anything wrong - professionally or even ethically?
I was trying to persuade her to disassociate between the normal professional rivalry thats bound to happen when a 'junior' becomes a peer... and the fact that she's the only woman at that level. However she felt that since her junior 'men' were very much a part of this entire club-behavior... it didnt have that much to do with her seniority as much as with her being a woman (not because she was capable, but becoz she's a girl!!)
Am left feeling both disgusted and yet also with a curious little amount of sympathy for those men. I mean - men have enough reasons to feel threatened in their erstwhile unilateral stronghold areas (eg. homes!!) ... now facing this kind of competition from women at work - ALL the time - cant be easy.
But i must end with saying that my inherent positivity makes me feel that there just might be another reason for this kind of a behavior - and not just chauvinism...
anyone with any clues... pls help!! its a career at stake here...
The same bonding mechanisms - after-hours drinking, bitching about women colleagues - kind of by their own nature mostly exclude a married mom who also wants to do a fair job at work. Couple it with the fact that this friend is not from the top-most premier mgmt college and is yet at par with some men who are (and are her 'seniors' by a few batches!). She is convinced that this has contributed a fair bit towards providing some more fodder for the discrimination she feels she's going through.
But would all this justify the behavior of these few 'good' men? Is it ok to behave in a fashion which just comes naturally to them? Is it really needed that they feel more responsible for their actions vis-a-vis the impact that it may have on their colleague? are they even doing anything wrong - professionally or even ethically?
I was trying to persuade her to disassociate between the normal professional rivalry thats bound to happen when a 'junior' becomes a peer... and the fact that she's the only woman at that level. However she felt that since her junior 'men' were very much a part of this entire club-behavior... it didnt have that much to do with her seniority as much as with her being a woman (not because she was capable, but becoz she's a girl!!)
Am left feeling both disgusted and yet also with a curious little amount of sympathy for those men. I mean - men have enough reasons to feel threatened in their erstwhile unilateral stronghold areas (eg. homes!!) ... now facing this kind of competition from women at work - ALL the time - cant be easy.
But i must end with saying that my inherent positivity makes me feel that there just might be another reason for this kind of a behavior - and not just chauvinism...
anyone with any clues... pls help!! its a career at stake here...
Comments
a) men are often interested in
activities or topics that women tend not to relate to.
b)the percentage of males in our offices are often high, men tend to dominate non-academic discussions with topics of interest to them.
c)In the female culture, the relationship, the connectedness, the rapport is ultimately the most important thing and all these things mentioned above might be insignificant or not priority for male employees. . They will discuss right from mallika sheravat to Obama in a span of 5 mins even though they are meeting for the first time in their life.
Signing off as the comment is becoming another blog:))