Have grown up in a ‘traditional’, conservative, middle-class
family – where somehow atypically emphasis on learning and independence was
very high. This translated into the thirst to understand the ‘reason why’
behind things we take for granted around us. Am sure some part of this also
stems from my own inherently questioning nature – After all I AM a true-blue
scorpio J
So when we would see people do things as a routine, trying
to ask questions about why we do what we do was hugely encouraged – especially
by my mom. Cannot thank her enough for embedding this habit in me – First understand,
then decide if you want to do it or not. Blindly following or rejecting anything is just plain
dumb!!
Over the years – this habit / curiosity / need for logic has
stood me in good stead – both professionally and personally in my
relationships. Usually.
One of the rituals I saw and tried to understand as a
youngster was touching feet. In our extended family – every young man / boy is
taught to touch the elders feet every time they meet and then when leaving the
meeting. Some are brought up with the habit of touching feet every morning –
akin to saying ‘Good morning’ to the elders. Girls were not supposed to do this
in their parental house - some bit about being 'Paraya dhan'. Daughters-in-law touched the feet of the elder
in-laws. Simple, straight-forward rituals – followed by generations. Minor differences
in the way this was done – example – my father’s side, the ritual for the
daughter-in-law meant starting at the knees and pressing the legs thrice till
the feet – kind of mimicking the pressing legs to give relief to elders motion.
My brother once fancifully declared that he will never touch
anyone’s feet as he dint believe in the ritual. My mother then sat us down and
explained why this ritual was done and what was the original thought behind the
same. (As always – everything ritualistic has multiple explanations.) Touching
feet was a gesture of seeking blessings from the elders / learned people – two main
views on this exist.
One – the touch means that we are like mud on the elders’
feet, essentially a subservient gesture. Hence putting that mud on our forehead
stood for a statement which said – I am humbler than you or that I recognize
your greatness.
Two – It is said that the big toe in the feet is one of the
strongest energy point in a human body. Touching feet was essentially supposed
to be touching the toe and hence transferring that energy onto our own forehead
– the other strong energy point. This was supposed to be the blessing that our
elders shower us with – May you be blessed with my energy. Hence it was
important to approach it with positivity in the relation with that elder – just
to ensure that what we got was positive energy and not negative.
Now as a person you can imagine that the second one stuck
with me totally. I am happy respecting elders – especially those I really
respect. And hence no qualms about touching feet. However when I do so – I ensure
I really mean it. Not as a ritual for the heck of it, not because someone else
expects it, not if my heart’s not in it. And then I don't stop to follow traditions of not touching my side of the family's feet - after all if I'm about to get positive energy, do I really need to stop to think who it will come from?
And to be honest – I love doing it. Call me conservative,
traditional, middle-class – or maybe worse…. But I like doing it. It makes me
feel superior rather than inferior. It gives me strength. Makes me one with my
environment, my culture, my traditions. Makes me feel closer to my mother in some ways too.
And BTW – my brother today is one of the most regular practitioners
of this ritual that I know of in my generation. And I know his reasoning is the
same as mine… do it from the heart, do it positively and the gain is all yours.
Someday soon, I hope to teach my son the same ritual… with
the associated logic. Hopefully he will learn to make his own decisions about
this and other stuff, but more importantly – first stop to understand why and only
then judge for himself whether he wants to follow it or not.
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