Rambling on... again..

Life is full of these ... and yet we still seem to mourn the endings and get excited about the beginings! all the time... everytime... Is this what is the miracle called life? 2008 is on the verge of becoming the past... and 2009 is going to be the present and not the future anymore... So how was 2008? same as every other year i guess... some highs, some lows... some times of utter despair, some full of hope and new directions, and some broken promises, some moments full of life, and some times i wished i wasn't alive, festivities and celebrations on one hand, funerals and illnesses on the other, intimacy and passion was there, strangely so was distance and loneliness, some frustrating moments of silence, where the heart wanted to shout and scream, and some moments of emotional cacophony, when all i wanted was a dessert of silence, tender moments of pure unadulterated love which only a child can bring, Thankfully some moments of being one myself... so ya - all in all... a pretty no...

Taking a leap of faith… defines a lot of decisions in life doesn’t it? At some point – one needs to give up being guarded, being scared of getting hurt or just plain simple stop ‘floating’ along… But how does one really do it? Am I the only one who finds these things tough? In a recent personality test I had to undergo .. seeking control of the situations around me was the highest – and no it doesn’t mean I am a control freak – it means I look for structure in things around me. Logic is the mainstay of how I handle various situations, people and relationships... then how the hell does such a personality type take the leap!!??? leap = action means leaving status quo means change means new faith = belief means blind choice means letting go means just being action of just being? leaving status quo and letting go? new and blind choice? how? why? is it all worth it? can it ever be worth it? and yet if it wasnt so - so many millions wouldnt be taking the leap and even inspiring others to do ...

Maybe had just got spoilt with the lull on this front ... but when faced with an in-ur-face display of chauvinism happened, i was yet again caught by surprise! why do i keep getting surprised still after so many years, i dont know... maybe am just too slow in my head!! ;-) in my head - an educated, corporate professional who's been in existence in this current world scenario - when asked 'do your sisters work?' DOES NOT reply with an 'of course not!' in my head - the above described person DOES NOT insist on 'homely' (read : non-working) as a pre-requisite for his life-partner! in my head - the above described person is fictional!! :o) but no - with my luck - trust me to run into this person... and since i firmly believe that there's always a reason why anything happens in life... i shall aim to look for reasons here as well... 1. had to remember the lessons learnt in body language (limp handshake = limp mind and who knows limp what else!!) he he!! 2. h...

Early morning sun comes in streaming... A smile and a sigh together... The morning starts with optimism.. No other way would i have it rather! Warm skin next to me... Not just on the outside tho.. Safety, security and lots of love... All the time with me on-the-go! Confident strides taking me to work To Smiling faces and trusted colleagues Making work a pleasurable challenge Not at all a world of intrigues! Evenings full of anticipation Of what the night would bring, All around the home and hearth Laughter and only laughter will ring! :-)

Over the last 2 weeks (really thats all it took!!) have been going thru this.. one day, random friend request from a familiar sounding name turns up... check and voila.. its an old classmate from high school! who directed me towards a FB group for our school, where just 2-3 other classmates were there. and that just set off a chain reaction... now we're some 15 odd people and more joining in every day... and others who're not on the cyber networks but are in touch with a few.. How can it be that the simple event of getting in touch with friends of a different era can almost redefine whats the present status of life? The innocent friendships of those days are just such a far far cry from today's - where a whole lot of our 'friends' are driven by just the need to pass time or find someone to go the gym with or even as frivolous as have lunch with!! beyond the sheer excitement of tracking each others lives, will this lead up to actual revival of friendships? or startin...

Am getting more and more enthu about photography as a hobby... lets see where it goes and how long it lasts... but till then... here's a sample of my efforts over time..

The Invitation - by Oriah Mountain Dreamer It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dream for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon... I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful to be realistic to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to ...

Aaj bahut dino ke baad.. Aaye hain woh din yaad.. Jino dino hum masoom the... Aur jindagi thi aabaad Duniya thi apni mutthi mein Sab log apne hote the.. Bas sochne ki deri thi Sab sapne sacche lagte the Masoom se dil ki baatein Dil se hi main bhi sochti thi Kisi ka bura sochne ka Na mann tha na hi zaroorat thi.. Phir aaya ek woh daur Jisne sab kuch badal diya Dil ko dimaag ne aur Jabaan ko Samajhdaari ne nigal liya Ab kuch bhi kehne se pehle Dimaag aur dil ladte hain Doosro ki soch pe kya karu vishwaas Jab khud ke kadam behekte hain Dil kehta hai sab theek hi hoga Bas karne ki hi deri hain Dimaag lekin hansta hai Ye kaisi nasamjhi hain Samajh saath hi rehti hai Phir kyo dil khaali lagta hai Kuch badalega jaldi hi kyo ye ummeed sa karta hai Kya aayega ek din woh bhi Jab dil dimaag phir ek honge Jis bhi taraf main jaoongi Ujaale aur sacche sapne honge Tab tak bas aise hi chalega ye kashmakash zindagi aur sapno ka Jab bhi mauka milega mujhe Jeeongi ek-ek pal jindagi ka!! :-)

11.5 years... too long a gap... maybe just about enough to make me curious as to how i'll react to being in a classroom again... over this time period have come close to giving a serious thot to actually going back to school twice... and both times the inertia + fear of rocking the current boat stopped me somewhere.. so god bless my company which sent me on this course... that too no less than INSEAD.. fontainbleu.. france! :-) dont think i ever expected it to be anywhere close to being as simple as it was... have been to my brother's campus a number of times at cranfield university in UK... and that was HUGE!! so when it comes to the best management college in the world, somehow simplicity was not in my mind! but then maybe thats what the crux is anyways - it IS all about sticking to the basics! in life and in managing a business! :-)

The movie has caught everyone's fancy - am yet to meet anyone who's seen the movie and doesnt have good stuff to say abt it... and its just completely spooky that as i start writing this, the cable guy has put it on!! :-) Mom's not enjoying it so far... so there DOES seem to be an age barrier at work here...anyways... A movie which manages to touch a chord across such a wide spectre of people... Its a unique movie which is not just about friendships... its about individual growth / change as well... Evokes somewhere or the other a feeling of resonance or even envy... having such deep friendships is not something too many people are blessed with... Characterization as well as fitment was fantastic... Essentially even a critic like me couldnt really find anything to crib about... so let me not even try going there. and there's enuf and more to praise... Its pretty obvious to target youth and the most common theme is friendship... tough to go wrong if you have a basic scri...

Ek jagah hai door si... Pahado ke bhi paar Sundarta aur shaanti ki rehti hai hamesha bahaar... Chota sa ek ghar bhi hai... Safed rang ka saja hua Ek bageecha charo taraf Phoolo se bhara hua Ek ladki hai khoyi si Baithi hai jaise intezaar mein Ek ladka hai chupa hua Shararat ki muskaan liye hue Baadal kadke aasmaan mein baarish ke aasaar hain 'Ab to aa jao ghar wapas' Dil se yahi pukaar hain Ye chota sa sapna dekhte Badi hui kayi ladkiyan Sapne shayad wohi hai aaj bhi Bas badli thodi Khidkiyan Ab ghar kahin door nahi Posh locality mein hota hai Safed rang to hoga hi Marble se jo banta hai Phool to hi-maintanence hain Lawn ka sapna bekaar hai Multiplex kitne door hain Gym banna hai ya tyaar hai? Ladki yaha bhi khoyi hai Shaam ki tyaari mein Strapless pehnu ya spagetti Kitni pareshaan bechaari hain Ladka hai ghoom raha Paise ikkethe karne hain Show-off karna zaroori hai ladki ko impress karne mein Ab baadal ki chinta nahi Sabke chalte hain gaadi mein Baarish bas ek pain hi h...

NDTV Lounge is fast becoming a fav. show of mine... It seems to bring out in the open the kind of discussions we used to have in our friend circle in college days... and even later. Somehow dont seem to have that kind of a circle these days... maybe this is also a fallout of becoming a 'middle level manager'! Or maybe becoz most people around are anyways married and any controversial viewpoint might endanger peace at home!! ;-) Anyways - back to this week's topic... Making the first move... at various stages of a relationship... Gender stereotypes dictate that the men need to make the first move - asking out for the first time, taking a step forward in the physical side of the relation and finally - Marriage! Women have all the right in the world to refuse at any of these stages - but taking it on themselves ... mmm ... well thats a clear NO! Any woman who does that is classifed 'fast / easy / cheap' material! This is the given that ruled the mindsets - esp. here in...

Such coincidence that my last topic here became the reason for a very disturbed friend to rant about!!! Her colleagues in a pre-dominated male setup were making her feel excluded... and she was convinced it was because she is a woman and doesnt do the 'male bonding' bits! The same bonding mechanisms - after-hours drinking, bitching about women colleagues - kind of by their own nature mostly exclude a married mom who also wants to do a fair job at work. Couple it with the fact that this friend is not from the top-most premier mgmt college and is yet at par with some men who are (and are her 'seniors' by a few batches!). She is convinced that this has contributed a fair bit towards providing some more fodder for the discrimination she feels she's going through. But would all this justify the behavior of these few 'good' men? Is it ok to behave in a fashion which just comes naturally to them? Is it really needed that they feel more responsible for their actions...

As per Linda Goodman, scorpio women have a hidden desire that they shd have been born a man! And my honesty makes me admit - this is very true for me... :-) Have spent most of my growing up years as a tomboy - only very reluctantly did i get onto the 'girly side' of things! And when i think of why this shd be - very simply put, i think the biggest difference being a girl and a guy is that they seem to have such a simple approach to life!! In india of course - being a guy gets you a whole lot of additional freedom that a girl doesnt have - and pls dont pretend that a 'modern / rational / unconventional' family doesnt have this discrimination... its the biggest fallacy possible. Girls in India - if they already dont have ppl tellng them to behave like 'girls', they themself recognize the fallouts of not behaving like one! anyways - back to the topic at hand... what i admire about the guys' way of living - beyond this freedom of existing the way they like! well...

Found this amongst my pile of 'will do something with this one day' pile of papers at home! Brought forth all the memories of my trip to North-east... 1 week... different towns every day... amazing stuff to see and observe.. Digitized the contents over the weekend... its missing a few bits abt the best place of them all - shillong... i seem to have recorded only stuff i was maybe afraid of forgetting!! ;-) will add that part on sometime soon... (this is an example of the digital version of 'will do it one day' pile!!) Kohima 12.06.03 North-east! A distant place only vaguely heard about – an adventure – if you had the time or the resources for it. Now am actually here – its beautiful. Simple. In some ways more than I expected, and in many ways lesser. But no denying its beauty. This is just the 1st stop … every night a new city. Yet in some ways, the thrill always dies down when you’ve actually seen it / done it / had it… 6.20 am 13.6.03 Sunrise / sunset had stopped m...

Kabhi jab mudke dekha zindagi ko Jitna socha tha jyada hi paaya... Aansoo the to hansi bhi thi Dhoop thi to saath tha saaya Pyaar mila aur chhuta bhi Jeevan mein kuch seekha bhi Chot lagne se dard to hota hai Par marham lagane waalo se pehchaan bhi Dosto ko bhi dhoondhna padta hai Apne aap kuch hota nahi Kisi aur ko dosh dena aasaan hai Khud mein jhankana aasaan nahi Kismat sabki ek hi hai Kuch hi log uska kuch kar lete hain Apne jeevan mein khud hi Pyaar aur khushi dhoond lete hain Itni sense of humor dena bhagwaan Aakhri saans jab aaye mujhe, Ye soch ke hans saku main Ki ab to saamne se daant paoongi tujhe! ;-)

NDTV Good Times - Lounge Host - Rajat Kapoor Guests - RJ Malaishka, Puneet (model / actor), Deepak (ad guy) Topic - The done-to-death conversation on Mars and Venus and their expectations from relationships some gems from the show - Till a man is single - he has no clue on what he wants... When he gets married - he has all clues on what he doesnt want!! Women treat men in their lives as a lifelong science experiment!! Men want their women to make them feel better about themselves... One of the best quotes of the show - Actually what men truly want is for their women to join them at the gaming console and be a part of their world!! ;-) Loved that bit completely... The new age woman has been written so much about that its almost nauseating. on the other hand - poor men! so ignored and underestimated... almost written-off actually.. they get stereotyped as the helpless mutts who have been forcibly removed from their mom's aprons and are now aspiring to search out the Mary whose poor l...

What got me started on this topic was this entire helplessness that exists around controlling one's heart. i mean - life would be so god-damned simple if we could all logically decide who to love, what to support, how much to stretch, what all to feel (or not feel). If we could order the heart to like or dislike someone or something - it wouldnt catch us by surprise. It would make life and its course fairly safe, simple and straightforward. Possibly even open up avenues of spending more time enjoying it than crying / screaming / raving / ranting about things not under control. So then why does it all sound so boring to me??? Have always believed that the unpredictability of life makes it interesting - but is this really true? Isnt this just another way of consoling oneself when things dont go as per plan? What would anyone do if given a true choice between the two - choose what your life should be like or let it come to you one day at a time? How many of us will actually choose the...

There are so many times in life when we get told - or at least i did - 'Dont be selfish...' or 'think about others around you'... countless times i can remember being in situations where this or something similar was the most common refrain... or even the easiest way of getting someone to quieten down and stop arguing! What amazes me is the fact that its not very often that someone tells you - 'think about yourself'... or 'do what you think is right for you'...or simply 'live for yourself'!! why is this seen to be selfish? and not equally human as looking after those you love or care for? after all - looking after yourself is the most 'basic instinct' possible for civilization to exist at all!! when it comes to a real crunch situation - and the social veneer gets ripped off, 99% of people would end up first taking care of their own lives and needs than someone else's.. so then why and where did it become bad to be selfish? And become ...

"The clay shapes the vase, but it is the emptiness within that makes the vase what it is .."

There's so much that goes on behind the scenes in everyone's lives... recently came face-toface with this reality yet again in sessions which were meant to encourage people to see the 'person' behind their colleagues... One of the few sessions that i think gave something new to think about to me at least. and what i got out of it was not that there's a story behind everyone - thats something i think i realized pretty much years ago... but what exactly do i do with the information that i have now about all these people!!! how is it that one is supposed to be with people after knowing these facts? does compassion start over-whelming the neutral attitude one has while dealing with colleagues? the fact that such intimate details about self have been shared with others - whats the best course forward - forget that you ever heard it? or maybe sometime actually broach the topic again? i mean - how else is one supposed to build on the ties these sessions are meant to create...

Another year in the organization means another effort by someone up there to drive team building.. i sometimes wonder if the people who organize these things even care about whether the so-called objectives have been actually achieved?? or am i just getting cynical? (vs realistic of course!!!) ;-) anyways... 'what goes of my father' being the most common refrain used... everyone goes for these things - does the normal drink-dance-party-bitch bit and gets back home... clear conscience for the company... holiday for the employees... and yes - some poor souls actually manage to meet some new people and establish links which JUST may help in work life too!! hmmmm... no points for guessing that i didnt enjoy it as much as i would have liked to!!

What is it exactly about music that can affect me so deeply? tho' i dont think am an exception at all... have too many people around who seem to be equally susceptible to its power. But there's an amazing amount of boring consistency in 'my kind of music' - and tho i realized this ages back... havent really been able to get past it (have i truly tried... now lets not get THAT honest!!) My kind of music = either solid lyrics or absolutely foot-tapping dancable non-sensical stuff!!! Nothing less has ever passed my muster and hopefully will ever do... am severely allergic to anything that sounds like shattering glass or screeching tyres or even worse screaming witches!!! :-) But there's another aspect to music - am sure for everyone who's even a wee-bit involved in what's entering their ears - it creates associations... and memories... and sometimes these start overshadowing the original emotions that the song generated!! For example recently on a flight - a fr...

I sometimes really wonder whether people who are forwarding mails - especially the non-joke varieties even realize the true power of some of the stuff sent around in the virtual world... i know i dont always get it myself... but then sometimes, a passing remark by someone who really read it thru will kind of jolt u back into thinking 'oh my god... so it DID make some sense to someone else too!!' anyways... what brought this on today - a random mail forwarded by a colleague on JK Rowling's speech at a Harvard convocation. amazing piece... really worth a read. its very real. something i would love to write if i were to address that profile of people... its honest and very grounded - in a funny self-depracating sort of way. Some excerpts - (Personal favorite is the last one...) "what we achieve inwardly will change outer reality" - written by the Greek author Plutarch There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment ...

"Main Chupana jaanta to jag mujhe saadhu samajhta, Shatru mera ban gaya hai chhal-rahit vyavahar mera.." - Harivansh Rai Bachchan

A book and a movie... Nicholas Sparks... Needed to watch a movie and ended up choosing this from amongst the collection i have of 'will watch one day soon enough' - collected over the years from various places... Anyways... if anyone out there wants to watch this movie - DONT. Not at all if you're in a relationship... Not at all if that person is with you.. might just make you do a re-assessment of what you have and if its good enough!! ;-) Havent seen this intense a portrayal of love and passion in ages... especially caught me by surprise since the overall storyline seems pretty typical - rich girl, poor boy -- summer romance -- bad parents -- both separate -- girl meets another good boy -- gets engaged -- just before marriage gets reminded of old love -- goes back and realizes all the mistakes they made... and so on! However the narrative and portrayal of this love into their old age is what caught me by the throat and blew me up completely - well blew me enuf to get up a...

I had gone a-begging from door to door in the village path, when thy golden chariot appeared in the distance like a gorgeous dream and I wondered who was this King of all kings! My hopes rose high and methought my evil days were at an end, and I stood waiting for alms to be given unasked and for wealth scattered on all sides in the dust. The chariot stopped where I stood. Thy glance fell on me and thou camest down with a smile. I felt that the luck of my life had come at last. Then of a sudden thou didst hold out thy right hand and say 'What hast thou to give to me?' Ah, what a kingly jest was it to open thy palm to a beggar to beg! I was confused and stood undecided, and then from my wallet I slowly took out the least little grain of corn and gave it to thee. But how great my surprise when at the day's end I emptied my bag on the floor to find a least little gram of gold among the poor heap. I bitterly wept and wished that I had had the heart to give thee my all. - Verse (...

The last two days have been amongst the most different ones i've had in recent times... had both my nieces over at home... 8.5 mths and 3 mths... amazing to watch them and interact with them.. and above everything else - i was entailed with the responsibility of looking after the elder one for two whole days!! (of course with the help of my mom and our help at home!! but still...) and of course it got me into maybe getting a better glimpse at what parenthood actually entails and how easy it is to influence the personality of the child in such indelible ways... My respect for parents of well-turned out kids has grown so much... a child is truly just clay... u can decide to be either someone who's following the book on what all 'needs' to be done... or else you can put your heart into it! you could be taking care of a child till he / she grows up... or you could be shaping a personality.. you could let 'what happens - happens' or you could decide to 'do what j...

Its quite strange that for a society like ours which thrives and survives on family values - we never had these 'days' as a part of our culture. not that it means that we dont value these relations - just that i would have loved to have more days to celebrate these lovely relations! its the same as having a birthday - its not that you dont love that person the rest of the 364 days - but that day makes him/her feel extra special!! and what's life if not a collection of these small moments of feeling 'special' to someone... so am all for all these 'days' - tho' pls i do draw a line at celebrating 'boss day'!!! :-) Anyways - back to the topic "My Daddy Strongest!!" - this line never failed to make me smile everytime i saw it on TV... Its always strange for me to describe my relation with my dad... am the youngest of 3... dad was 38 when i was born... busy struggling to keep a roof over the family's head having left his family business ...

"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it." -Thomas Jefferson Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. - Carl Gustav Jung "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a ride!"

Lisbon... hmmm... lemme think of words that describe it.. First impressions ... sleepy, small, non-descript... doesnt leave a strong impression on those just passing through... one of those places where you need the locals to show you the true essence of the place. the pub area is great fun... still cant get over how people were literally 'spilling' out in the cobbled streets outside the pubs... i mean what would you call a place that serves liquor, plays music and yet doesnt bother to have seating!!!!?? but thats what its like everywhere there... amazing.. But i have to admit - i will always be biased... whenever i think of lisbon - i am really thinking of sintra!! Its a quaint old town, some 45 minutes drive off lisbon. it is the place where the royal family used to live.. so it has forts, palaces, old chateaus... the works... went with 3 colleagues... myriad backgrounds and yet we had sooooo much fun together!! absolutely a major fun day... But i have to admit - the indian r...

My third visit... 2005, 2006 and now 2008... There is something in the air in Paris... for me at least. everytime i go there it feels like i've been called.. there's nothing about paris that i dont like - and this is when i do consider myself very fair in my opinions even on those things (or people) that i love! This time i had an opportunity to show off paris to someone else... which made it slightly more fun! especially my favorite place in paris (maybe even on earth itself) - Sacre Ceur Church (Sacred Heart)... Its absolutely gorgeously located on top of a hill... with a beautiful view of all paris. Next to it is an absolute must-visit area - the montmarte village... the street artists' square... Have a portrait which i got done there in 05... occupies a place of pride in my home now. Dinner with Rose wine at roadside cafes... View of Eifel at night... Large spralling churches... serene siene... Just about everything about Paris - I love...

Having lost my passport at the fag end of my trip - along with ALL my bloody pictures - had almost given up on the idea of continuing my travelogue here... the last entry was made from helsinki itself... But since i like to believe that i follow what i tell others to do - The past should be left where it is... In the PAST! So here i am again... Post helsinki - had gone to Paris, Lisbon, Barcelona, Venice and Rome.. All in all a very memorable trip... for more reasons than the loss of passport... Shall write on each of these...

i was just going through all my old entries in my blog - the earlier one as well as this one... some of the things i've written about are things that i myself am not following now. made me question this changing colors of people.. while this phrase is typically used more to describe the two-sided nature of people... am using it with the context of more permanent or deeply-ingrained change... i know change is the only constant etc... the spiel that everyone uses. i did too on many occasions... but is it truly a change or just an excuse to lapse into doing sthg which you would 'ideally' not do? Does this also mean that such changes are temporary in nature? So which change is going to be permanent? those which fit into the current overall personality or those which are challenging the essence of that person? wish i knew the answers..

It is quite easy for people to be stuck in their own image of themselves... All of us - whatever be our IQ levels - are equally guilty of this. Sometimes we're close to incredibly foolish... Sometimes we're closeby to the remote truth. How does one try to be in the vicinity of truth and not illusion? Somehow over the last 3-4 days - have kind of lived thru this internal struggle across myriad life situations. Some intensely personal, some kind of professional. From someone who believes their calibre and recognition dont match to someone who uses self-perception as an insurmountable wall against potential emotional hurt. Life threw up events and situations which still are beyond me to understand - how the f^*% did i get caught in them? Esp since have spent most of my life avoiding getting caught in situations which make me feel helpless like this. (Helpless - as in situations not under my control.) Let's take for example the scenario where someone's basic abilities as a ...

just because i put in some sad stuff (only the content... not the style!!!) - doesnt mean am about to jump off the roof rightaway!!! just been meaning to put in some of my memories here... it seems that the only world slightly safe these days is the virtual one... or at least shall hope so... anyways... at this ungodly hour its pretty normal to feel emotional... at least for me. at times life raises quite a few questions - and mostly cruel ones... sometimes the cruelest ones are simply those which you know the answer to and yet dont want to acknowledge... especially to urself. what are we capable of doing? to ourselves... to those who we think we love? when exactly do we become small in our own eyes? while thinking of doing it...while doing it... or forever afterwards? what is the bigger crime... deceiving the world, deceiving someone else... or deceiving yourself? when do we cross the line between being true to yourself and being true to the moment? what if the two are in conflict? wh...

Agar main jaanti... ki tumhe khokar phir main kuch bhi na paaoongi ki tumhare haath ke baad koi haath mera na ho payega ki tum itna door jaake bhi hamesha mere paas rahoge ki tumhara ek pal ka saath mere baaki sab palo ko bemaani kar dega ki mera ye adhura ehsaas har pal adhura hi rahega ki meri khud ki pehchaan mere liye bhi anjaani rahegi ki main saare jahaan mein tumhari aankhon waala pyaar dhoonti reh jaaoongi to ... shayad...

Wanted to leave it here... Tum... ek khayal, ek ehsaas ek unbujhi si pyaas... ek anjaani si chaah ek bhataki hui si raah... ek saathi bagair saath ek sahaara deta hua haath... bahut chaha tumhe bhoolna shayad isiliye itna yaad aate ho... tum!

Yet again a long gap... and this time not a nice one at all!! Had my laptop bag stolen in rome which had my passport, cards, license etc in it - and went thru a whole lot of chaos.. which honestly seems much tougher in retrospect... at that point maybe was just too numb to realize how big a trouble loosing these documents can be... anyways.. am still in the comfortably numb state of mind more or less.. at times questioning the reason behind the kind of daily life we lead, at times being thankful for the routine itself! was upset at one time about not being able to travel for a long while, and yet thankful for the same too!! (its been a month since i stepped out of delhi!!!! unheard of for a long long while) maybe travel is what keeps these feelings of boredom with routine at bay... but it cant be the reason to do what you do... or can it? as i said before - comfortably numb... thats all there is to this...

small town? big city? i think this struggle is nowhere as evident as in helsinki... its pretty in its wilderness... sublime in its old world charm... poetic in its natural form... lonely in its patchy habitation... impressive in its artistic leanings... its not anything like what one wud imagine to be the bed of such technological advancement! but then as someone was explaining today - countries like these where resources are scarce and labor is expensive, they dont have a choice but to be at the high end of the value chain in their offerings. cant be easy... too much pressure to innovate and stay ahead on sheer mental calibre. maybe thats where the famous finnish fortitude comes in handy!! :-)

since i last wrote in my earlier blog... have become an aunt - TWICE over!!! and i do agree with my friend who had told me years ago that it does change things! Avni (OK fine... Maansi) and Tanvi... lets see how these kids shape up into becoming the next gen of our family!

took a lot of effort and thought... has a lot of my ramblings too... so in case of wanting to access the old blog... just copy and paste in the scroll bar... http://takingitasitcomes.blogspot.com/

its been tooooooooooooooooo long... and while i have been missing penning down the random thoughts i keep getting... my laziness kinda overwhelmed my enthusiasm!! :-) anyways - this goes to prove what a boring sunday evening can do to a person... first things first - in case anyone else ever gets around to reading this - my earlier blog gave up on me when my gmail account got hacked into! :-( i still feel very depressed abt loosing that great an id! and seriously am surprised at how ethg kind of came back to normal quickly even though i lost both my id's at the same time. maybe i just havent realized the loss... or maybe there just wasnt that much to loose anyways! hmmm... sad it is.. either ways. anyways... whats gone is gone.. let me be honest and upfront here - i really DID miss my blog more than i did my email accounts! is that weird? who knows... it seems so actually. :-) good, i havent lost my touch yet!! varna lag raha tha that age has really made me boringly straight!